BLAME DOESN'T FREE US FROM A PROBLEM, IT CEMENTS US TO IT.
Growing up, I understood the blame game all too well. It seemed like the easiest way to get out of a sticky situation. It definitely prevented me from taking any personal responsibility. It was often easier to point the finger at what someone else did to justify what I did in return.
"They said this first," Or "They did this to me, so I did that,"
When we are quick to cast the blame, we miss the opportunity to discover our triggers, acknowledge our unhealed emotions, or take responsibility for our incorrect behaviors.
As long as we don't acknowledge our own contributions, we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. No matter how far we travel, how many new jobs we get, or new relationships we enter into; we will run into the same type of situation. Why? Because YOU are a key component to the problem.
Not addressing our toxic thinking, our pride, our selfishness, or fears will cause us to repeat behaviors no matter where we go or who we try to connect with.
If you are needy, you will attract those who more than likely will take advantage of you or try to control you. If you don't know your worth and value, you will settle for less, compromise your standards, or allow others to define your worth. If you are broken, you will attract other broken people OR you will attract people whose value is derived by fixing others.
And until we deal with ourselves, a different location, a different person, or a different job will not prevent us from experiencing the same situation.
The blame game is tricky because quite frankly, the other person MAY be at fault. They may be untrustworthy. They may have taken advantage of you or treated you harshly. But here's the million-dollar question?
Why did you stay? Why did you enable their behavior? Why did you accept the lies or deceptive ways? Why did you pursue it? Why did you make excuses for it?
Why? That's the big question we have to ask ourselves when we are tempted to blame others for the pain, heartache, disappointment, and pain we are experiencing?
Acknowledging our contribution to an unhealthy situation/relationship will NOT fix or change the other person. But it SHOULD cause US to do something differently. It should ENCOURAGE us to get healed, so we stop attracting brokenness. It should compel us to do our due diligence BEFORE we jump into relationships, form partnerships, or extend trust.
What have you been struggling with that you have been blaming someone else?
Have you considered what YOU need to do differently? Have you come to grips with the HARD truths about what needs to change within you?
When we deal with ourselves, we get UNSTUCK. We are able to move forward. And we stop being shackled to the very thing/person that has become the REASON (in our own mind) as to why we can't do better.
YOU CAN DO BETTER. YOU CAN BE BETTER. YOU CAN BE FREE!
You cannot wait for someone else to do, be, or acknowledge what they need to change before you make the changes needed to discover your best self!
Let's stop pointing the finger and start doing the necessary work!